It was supposed to be a routine booking call.
Just another potential client for the studio. The call I’ve done hundreds of times over the years.
But twenty minutes in, something broke inside me.
And I realized I didn’t want to say yes.
What Happened
She was great. Excited. Ready to book.
She was asking all the right questions—about my process, my availability, what working together would look like.
And I was giving her all the answers. Walking through the services. Explaining how I handle everything myself. Showing her why clients choose to work with me.
But the whole time, I felt like I was reading from a script I’d written years ago.
A script for a version of myself I’m not sure I am anymore.
And then she said it:
“I love that you’re so hands-on with everything. That you’ll be there personally for every step. That’s exactly what I need.”
And something in me just… cracked.
Because that’s what I built my entire business on. Being hands-on. Being here. Doing it all myself.
And I realized in that moment: I don’t want to be that person anymore.
The Realization I’d Been Avoiding
I spent years building a business where I was the center of everything.
In the studio every day. Servicing clients. Managing schedules. Then coming home to handle the e-commerce side. I managed inventory, orders, and customer service. At night, I built systems so I can automate what was taking me hours.
I learned operations by being the operator. By doing every part myself until I understood how it all worked.
And that was necessary. That’s how I went from surviving to actually building something sustainable.
But I just finished this 12-week Scale Up program. And it made me realize something I wasn’t ready to admit:
I don’t want to be the operator anymore.
I want to scale the e-commerce business. I want to focus on strategy instead of execution. I want to be in rooms learning. I want to grow, not be stuck in the same cycle of service delivery. I’ve been in this cycle for years.
I want to build something that doesn’t need my physical presence to run.
And here was this woman on the phone. She was ready to pay me for the exact thing I’m trying to walk away from.
The Questions That Wouldn’t Stop
After I ended the call, I sat in my car in the parking lot for probably 30 minutes.
Just… processing.
Who am I if I’m not the person who does everything herself?
My entire brand is built on that. The operator who figured it out by doing. The single mother who learned systems because she had no other choice. The woman who built two businesses from scratch with no team, no investors, just her own two hands.
If I’m not that person, what am I selling?
Am I allowed to want something different now?
I worked so hard to get here. To build a client base. To have people seeking me out. To finally feel stable.
And now I’m sitting here realizing the stability I built is also the trap I’m stuck in?
What if I’ve been optimizing for the wrong outcome this whole time?
What if all these years of perfecting my operations were for building something I don’t actually want? I have been building my systems and getting really good at being hands-on. What if I have only been creating a better version of it all this time?
The Part I Still Feel Guilty About
I took the booking.
Because rent is due. Because my daughter needs things. Because turning down ready income when you’re the only one providing feels irresponsible.
But the entire time, I felt like I was lying to her.
Selling her on a version of me that I’m actively trying to move away from.
I am promising to be available and hands-on. Still, what I really want is to build something that doesn’t need me in the room.
And that call made me realize: I can’t keep doing this.
I can’t keep saying yes to work that drains me just because it’s what I’ve always done. I can’t keep building a business around a version of myself I’ve already outgrown.
But I also don’t know how to pivot without losing everything I’ve built.
What Actually Scares Me
I’m too far in to change directions now, aren’t I?
I have clients who book me because I’m hands-on. A brand built around being the operator who understands every detail. A reputation that says “Michele does it all herself—that’s why she’s so good.”
If I step away from that, do I lose the trust? The clients? The business I spent years building?
What if I decide to make the shift? I can focus on e-commerce, step back from the studio, and become the strategist instead of the executor. But what if I realize I made the wrong choice?
What if the version of me I’m working toward isn’t better? Just different? And I gave up something good for something that doesn’t fit either?
Where I Am Now
That client call was supposed to be simple.
Book the client. Schedule the work. Keep the business running.
But instead, it forced me to admit something I’d been avoiding for months:
I’ve built a business I no longer want to run the way I’m running it.
And I don’t know if I’m supposed to push through until I can afford to change it. Or if I’m supposed to make the pivot now and deal with the consequences.
I don’t know if wanting something different after working this hard to get here makes me ungrateful or just human.
I just know that call changed everything.
And I’m still trying to figure out what comes next.
No Clean Ending
I’m still taking bookings. Still showing up in the studio. Still doing the work I’ve always done.
I have a daughter to support. I also have bills to pay. A business depends on me showing up.
But something shifted that day.
And I can’t unsee it.
You have been on a call that made you realize you’ve outgrown your own business. I don’t have the answer yet. But I’m right there with you, trying to figure it out.
— Michele Alexandria
Have you experienced this moment realizing the business you built no longer fits the vision you’re working toward? Drop a comment and share what that looked like for you.
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Michele Alexandria 
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